Ahhh, hello old friend. Control. I hear you in the over and undertones of myself and those I serve. I hear it in ads and constant barrages of consuming, changing, altering, striving in the thick chords of not enoughness.
Capitalism and patriarchy work best when we believe, swallowing whole the sludge that we can control our existence, all the outcomes, and others responses and opinions of us.
When I think of control I often like to interchange it with the word SAFETY.
Because often when we trace the edges and the lines of control we end up at the roots of what makes us feel safe or unsafe.
So we start there often in sessions, in conversations, in collaboration. What does control mean to you? What does it give you? What does it promise you?
Is it fair what we have placed upon it?
A simple meditation that serves us well over and over again is to imagine control as a part of us, a need, and a want. What does control look like? What does it want to do for you?
What do you want from it?
Can you converse with control? What would it like you to know about it?
Is there any room for an altering of relationship with this part of you?
If you loosened control what would you gain?
If you pardoned yourself for feeling unsafe (of course you do and did lil sweetpea, the world can be dangerous at times after all) would there be any spaciousness to give for growth and movement?
Who can you share these vulnerable little nuggets of yourself with, your desire for safety, your fear turned to control?
Sharing is caring my children say often to me, and I may add sharing is showing your body that is does not humming its fears and nervousness in an alone space.
Answer these questions within yourself and then share them in a safe space, perhaps with a beloved, perhaps with friends or collaborators in community. Having served in the healing space for quite some time I can say with my hand on my heart, folxs are starving to talk this over and understand that in this process of control as a trauma response, they are simply not alone.
Your healing impacts my healing impacts the world!
Love and adoration,
Amy