For they have always dominated what they have feared.

Myself included, the ticker truly is after those seeds were planted,

And watered, and rooted,

Little spiny, barbed and buried things in my heart,

They need not whisper such horrors in my ear any longer,

I had a whole internal system to do the same.

A self made machine,

In my chest, 

In my lower belly,

In the places that were meant to light up with pleasures and 


What can we do when the dishes need done,

The children truly are hungry,

Your bones are tired, tired, tired

And the world continues to go on.

Such a lie that feeds itself to think it could 

Never be any different.

Too much to change,

Too much to uproot and disrupt

And attend to.

I’m not sure about you, but I was sent here to disrupt,

Even though I have screamed in my palms,

Bloodied in disappointment,

Deeply, horribly scarred and seared by the fires set,

I have bandages but sometimes I need a long sleep,

A hungry slumber,

A gulping rest that takes and takes and takes.

I don’t always know the answers, and that is often the first

Stumbling step.

Will you walk with me?

I’m a tempest but in the most unfulfilled way,

A siren song that has little seduction,

It’s mainly a bellowed, curdled cry,

Like the one all three made when they erupted from

My loving place,

Smelling and shining of god, 

I wrapped them close to me, 

As natural as natural could be,

Sometimes resistance feels as pure as all that,

Others as dirtied and soiled as they come,

Stinking and rotten.

I hold a hand to my mouth and let my tears clean

The filth.